Men Can Stop Rape

As a rape crisis counselor (in training) and feminist, I often take for granted the conversations that happen within those communities about ending rape culture and victim blaming.

I also tend to focus so much on survivors (which is good) that I overlook teaching rapists how NOT to rape (which is not so good). Eradicating almost any problem needs to incorporate a large outreach for prevention.

While we know that not all rapists are men, they are a large population of sexual assault offenders. So, the organization called Men Can Stop Rape is exactly what we need in our society. They not only teach that as a man, you can stop the actual crime of rape, but that they are engrained from a very early age to fit in a very specific box of masculinity.

The combination of learned characteristics for men such as physical strength, lack of emotions or vulnerability, sexual aggression, and objectifying women are exactly what make for the encouragement and tolerance of sexual violence. If men are outside this box of masculinity, they are made fun of and called names like ‘gay’, ‘girly’, ‘pussy’, etc… Names that aren’t insults, but names of people or things that are viewed as less than the hetero-normative male in our society.

Luckily, Men Can Stop Rape is reaching out to other men to let them know it’s okay to stand up for a fellow human being who is treated like an object. It’s okay to let emotions show and realize they aren’t the supreme beings in the world.

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9 thoughts on “Men Can Stop Rape

  1. This has been proven to be false. Look at the organization of “Violence against women”, they have a study that proved that “men can stop rape” is entirely false. Teaching men not to rape has no impact on rape.

  2. I haven’t heard of VAWA proving that men can stop rape is false. But, whether it’s true or not, there’s no harm in educating everyone not to participate in rape. Advocating to end the objectification of women is important work in our culture that idealizes the extremely masculine male.

    • @Fem. If you read the article it attributed the high occurrence in the area to prostitution. Which consequently there was a huge crackdown on that, you have no way of attributing causality to the add campaign for the decrease in numbers, which it even says rates went up. Teaching women to not get so drunk they lose consciousness, like the article implied would be step number one. A girl giving off a sexual vibe with alcohol involved on both parties wakes up and calls rape on the male is almost as wrong. Ruining the males life in the process. Rape is no joke and is totally wrong, but theres a difference between violent rape and what the article is talking about.

      • Rape is never deserved no matter what the circumstance. Don’t tell a woman she can’t get drunk just because she’s a woman. If someone rapes, that’s their choice and they should be held accountable for their actions. Rape is rape, terms like ‘violent rape’ is exactly why rape culture exists.

  3. It is not true that men are 95% of rapists, if you properly define rape. According to the latest CDC (US government) survey, 4.8% of all men have been “made to penetrate” and 79.2% of the perpetrators were women. Examples of “made to penetrate” are: a woman who has sex with a man who is passed-out drunk, or a woman who forces a man to have sex with her through violence or threats of violence. There is some confusion due to the fact that their definition of rape excluded “made to penetrate” and only included men who had been penetrated. That was far less common (1.4% of men) and was mostly perpetrated by men. However, if you include “made to penetrate” as rape, which you should, since it is forced sex, women are a significant percentage of rapists, and the majority of male rape victims were raped by women. You can read the report at:
    http://www.cdc.gov/ViolencePrevention/pdf/NISVS_Report2010-a.pdf Here are direct quotes from the report:
    “Approximately 1 in 21 men (4.8%) reported that they were made to penetrate someone else during their lifetime”

    “For three of the other forms of sexual violence, a majority of male victims reported only female perpetrators: being made to penetrate (79.2%), sexual coercion (83.6%), and unwanted sexual contact (53.1%).”

    The above, lifetime stats do show a lower percentage of male victims (up to 6.2% of all men) than female victims (18.3% of all women) although this is far more than commonly believed. However, if you look at the report’s stats for the past 12 months, just as many number of men have been “forced to penetrate” as women were raped, meaning that if you properly define “made to penetrate” as rape, men were raped as often as women.

    Here are some stories from male victims: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/v73r4/men_who_have_been_raped_by_women_can_you_tell_us/

    • Your stats have been taken out of context. 79.2% is only in reference to male survivors made to penetrate out of ALL male survivors, not all genders of survivors. I will say that stats in context to sexual assault are very tricky due to the crime being reported so little. It’s hard to get factual numbers. Society is definitely at fault for men not able to feel like they can come forward. But, women are in the same boat. They are blamed and called liars, just like men are blamed and called liars. I absolutely believe women are perpetrators and men are survivors – as well as transgender folks. I was just trying to say that the Men Can Stop Rape is doing good work, even if it’s only reaching out to a few men. Because it not only teaches not to rape, but it also teaches to hold other men accountable for their actions, including objectifying women.

  4. “The combination of learned characteristics for men such as physical strength, lack of emotions or vulnerability, sexual aggression, and objectifying women are exactly what make for the encouragement and tolerance of sexual violence. If men are outside this box of masculinity, they are made fun of and called names like ‘gay’, ‘girly’, ‘pussy’, etc…”

    This statement is very simply FALSE. It does not describe the actual state of the world. You should not spread such lies.

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